M. M. Wolthoff Blogspot

Tune in to get at least quarterly blog updates related to the book, the outdoors, and future work

10/10/17: International OCD Awareness Week

There were several motivational factors for writing The West Texas Pilgrimage. Many things about the story inspired me to tell it, not the least of which was my own annual pilgrimage to Big Bend.  One of my major objectives, however, has yet to be accomplished.  When I dedicated the book to those who suffer in silence, I had a specific target audience in mind that I feel I haven’t touched.  Most of my reviews and positive feedback have come from friends, professional book reviewers, and social media contacts. With the exception of one reader who stated that she now understood some of the thought processes of her middle aged son, I haven’t heard from the sufferers of OCD and depression that I had intended to reach.  

There is a stigma associated with mental health in my world that prevents young men from seeking help.  My world is a man’s man world; one in which being perceived as weak or soft is of greater concern than individual well being. Asking for help or even admitting you have a problem is not easy in my world. When it comes to a chronic disorder that is widely misunderstood and one that will make the sufferer doubt literally every belief he holds to be true about himself, it becomes very apparent why a young man in my world would struggle with communicating his struggles.  

The West Texas Pilgrimage was intended to tell the story of a young man who went through what I went through internally.  Through no one’s fault but my own, it took me ten years, depressive episodes,  countless lost opportunities, and strained relationships before I finally admitted I had a problem and sought help.  If my book can convince one young man that he isn’t alone, he isn’t weak, and that there is help and treatment available, then and only then have I accomplished my objective. 

This week is International OCD Awareness Week and my hope is to help generate awareness of this chronic condition that impacts 1 in every 100 adults and 1 in every 200 kids in the U.S. alone. Through Sunday the 15th of October, I will mail a free copy of the book to anyone who contacts me about a loved one, a friend, or a personal experience with OCD or depression. No details necessary; just a name and an address. Help me spread the word. Contact me at Matt@westtexaspilgrimage.com or through the Facebook page. 

7/17/17:   Well it's July and I'm a little behind on my commitment to a quarterly blog.  This Summer has already been a busy one and despite having a lot to say, it has been hard to find time to write. 


I have been fortunate enough to spend a lot of time on the water recently with my Dad. Father's Day was a few weeks ago and that holiday serves as a great reminder not to take your dad for granted.  Many no longer have their fathers around, while many others do only in the sense that they are still alive.  I'm of possibly the minority of sons that not only still have their fathers, but also have a genuinely close relationship with them.  

The thing I am most grateful to my Dad for is that he taught me how to be a Dad. He may not have always agreed with or even understood me, but he was always there when I needed him.  He is and always has been unconditionally dependable.  To this day that holds true. I know if I were to pick up the phone right this minute, and this minute happens to be late, to ask him for help, there would be no hesitation, irregardless of how large or small the ask. 

Within the context of spending time on the water, I have an appeal to make to Texas Parks and Wildlife: SAVE THE LOWER LAGUNA MADRE.  The fishing pressure on our relatively confined lagoon seems to escalate every year, and the lamenting of the old timers who have seen the lagoon in its' glory days no longer seems to be just embellished rhetoric.

As more and more shallow-water, tunnel hulled, overpowered boats hit the pristine flats of the Lower Laguna on any given weekend, less and less consideration seems to be given to conservation and sustainability.  Whether it be due to ignorance or carelessness, consideration for fellow anglers has also taken a turn for the worse. Those that may not be killing every fish they can within the limits of the law are running them off the flats and ruining the fish catching chances of anyone else in their path. 

While there are many contributing factors to the overfishing and overcrowding of our bay system, the number of fishing tournaments on any given weekend between Easter and Labor Day is getting to the point of ridiculousness. This is where I talk out of both sides of my mouth;  I enjoy fishing in tournaments and fish in at least four of them in our home waters of the Lower Laguna Madre every year. They often promote a worthy charitable cause or at least provide an enjoyable experience with good competition and fellowship amongst anglers. The problem lies in the numbers. It is not uncommon to have multiple tournaments out of South Padre Island, Arroyo City, and Port Mansfield all in the same weekend.  Each tournament will often have anywhere between 20 and 200 boats, with each boat typically having three to four anglers.  At its’ worst, there could be upwards of a thousand tournament anglers on the water in a single day.  All of the sudden our 59 miles of lagoon seems very small. 

Introduce croaker, otherwise known as trout crack, to the above equation and Laguna Madre: we’ve got a problem. With the magic of the little bait fish that could, any meathead with a 250 horse power engine, no offense to my meathead buddies, or literally anybody with a pulse, can catch a limit of trout. If the numbers haven’t started to make an impression on you, just take five trout for every angler mentioned above.  I’m no marine biologist, but that seems like a lot of fish pulled out of a fishery in a single day.  We haven’t even started to count redfish. 

My appeal to Texas Parks and Wildlife is to regulate tournaments on the Lower Laguna Madre. Don’t outlaw them; just create a set of criteria and standardized regulations that every tournament has to follow.  Create a minimum fee to hold a tournament that would put dollars back into the fishery.  If you’re going to host a tournament that takes from the natural resource, why shouldn’t you have to pay to help restore what you have taken? Make this fee high enough so that not every charitable organization in south Texas thinks that the Lower Laguna Madre should support their cause.  Set a tighter slot for the fish that will be killed in the tournaments, like a 25” trout slot instead of 28”, and/or set standardized limits on tournament stringers such as one fish per species. Finally, and most importantly, outlaw live bait in tournaments.  If you don’t want to outlaw all live bait, outlaw croaker.  Let the meat hauler who wants to catch dinner continue to use whatever legal live bait he or she can, but tournament anglers, particularly in the numbers mentioned above, should not be able to use live bait.  Isn’t the intent to be a competition of hard work and skill? With the exception of handicapping in golf, other sports don’t offer crutches to even the playing field in competition. If you want to win, you’ve got to be better than the competition. Believe me, I am acutely aware of this myself, having only rarely been in that position.  TPWD: PLEASE DO SOMETHING!

On the book front I’ve started book number two, as promised, a novel about a crooked south Texas health system and the tremendous impact it has on the local community. I think all readers will relate to it as “what’s wrong with healthcare” seems to be a pretty common discussion these days nation wide.  

If you’ve had a chance to read The West Texas Pilgrimage, please take the time to post a review on Amazon or Barnes and Noble. They really do make a difference in terms of readers choosing to spend their time on the book or not.  If you haven’t read it, you can get an autographed copy right here on the site.  Thanks for your support.   

4/11/17: Someday soon I will write a book set in Port Mansfield Texas. The only thing that distinguishes this salty piece of land from its' humble origin as an isolated fish camp on the Laguna Madre is the fifty and sixty-foot sport fishers docked in the marina. Otherwise not much has changed in this place where the fish, the fisherman, and the whitetail deer all blend together to live in harmony. The characters and stories are endless, and every year in April we return for a three to four day stretch to soak it all in. 

Todos Locos Invitational Fishing Tournament is aptly named for the great group of guys that put it on every year and the dicey weather patterns of South Texas in early April.  Wind is the mother lagoon's answer for weekend warriors like me. It seems that the nicest days are always when I'm sitting behind a desk, and by the weekend God has turned on the fans full blast. This first weekend in April was no exception. It is no doubt a blessing to this already over-pressured fishery. 

Getting to the flats from the Port Mansfield Harbor means crossing a stretch of deep water where the intercostal waterway comes to a "T" in shallow running, tunnel hull boats. Add 40 mph gusts to that equation and things get sporty in a hurry. With the prevailing southeast winds, going out can feel like you're sitting on a jackhammer, and coming in feels more like you're stuck in a washing machine.

Predictable to form, the weather cooperated on Friday morning, but by Friday afternoon, the winds of change were coming. We found some good fish in a lagoon in the back part of the bay that morning and planned to return to that area the following day for the tournament. The getting there meant running in six inches  of water for a long stretch prior to setting down in the lagoon. By Saturday morning, the aforementioned dreaded wind had literally blew ALL of the water out of this back bay overnight.  By the time we knew we weren't going to make it to the Lagoon there was no turning around. The picture above is what happens when you run out of water and stick a 21 foot tunnel hull Shallow Sport in the mud. Congratulations to Wes and Kyra Hudson for building a boat that will run in almost no water and for selling them to guys like me who will put that theory to the test. I once heard about shallow water fishing, "if you're not pushing, you're not trying."  Well, in this case we were trying really, really hard. Convinced that our day was over, the only thing to do was drink a beer and fish the lagoon, only 50 feet from where we ran aground. 

The good news is that thanks to Captain Charlie Buchen, airboat Captain "Fred" of Port Mansfield, and my wife, as much as I begrudgingly admit it, help was just a phone call away.  The even better news was that, while we waited for our airboat rescue, we discovered that the lagoon was chock-full of fish. Apparently they had retreated to the two to three foot depth of the lagoon as the wind blew the water out of the flats on either side. The result was big fish with nowhere to go for the immediate future; in  the moment we could relate.

We had almost forgot about our predicament by the time the airboat arrived and pulled us out.  The only down side was that Captain Fred didn't take longer to get there; we still hadn't filled out our stringer with two flounder. In retrospect we should have left one of our guys there to hike out once the mission was complete.  Either way, the day was saved and we even managed to make it back to weigh in with a respectable, albeit not a winning, stringer.  Many thanks to Will Caruth and Ryan Meyer, Team "Stuck It" (If that isn't ironic I don't know what is) for toughing it out with me and more importantly for splitting the $600 airboat ride.  'Till next year Todos.           

2/5/17: The 8th annual pilgrimage is officially in the books. Last weekend I made the trek west to rendezvous with the Flying Burros once again. This trip included an extra stop in Marfa for a book signing at Marfa Book Company in the Hotel St George. Tim Johnson, the owner of the book store, was gracious enough to host me, on short notice, for the afternoon. 

The best thing about a nine hour road trip by oneself out west is the opportunity to think and reflect.  The worst thing about a nine hour road trip by oneself out west for an overactive OCD brain like mine is the opportunity to think and reflect.  An extended period of time dedicated to only my thoughts and worries, with only Guy Clark Pandora and ESPN radio to serve as a distraction, had the potential to provoke levels of anxiety that typically only come with that nasty hangover in church. 

Not this trip.  I left myself plenty of time to enjoy the ride. The only stop was at the Pecos River crossing, where with a brisket sandwich and cold beer, I took in the rugged beauty of the landscape and began my step back in time.  The Texas Historical Commission sign reads, "The Pecos is where the mythic wild west begins..." and while staring down the steep canyon walls towards the river, I couldn't help but think of days gone by. 

I also managed to get a little work done while making speed on highway 90.  West Texas, the inspiration for the first novel, proved to be helpful once again. The project I'm working on has been in development even prior to The West Texas Pilgrimage, but I haven't been able to pull it all together from start to finish.  It actually started as a non-fiction documentary, but has evolved into a novel, which I hope will be more entertaining.  I think I made some major progress in the storyline somewhere between Langtry and Sanderson.  

Pulling into Marfa a little early for the book signing, I went and had a drink at Hotel Paisano, the old "Giant" headquarters, which is totally worth the stop if you "happen to be out that way".  Marfa Book Company is a great store run by even better people.  I really enjoyed the event and the discussion.  

The rest of the weekend was as memorable as the seven before it.  With Snow on Friday night and bluebird skies for the hike in the National Park Saturday morning, we were once again blessed with incredible fortune when it came to the weather.  I don't think it is a coincidence; the odds of having that kind of weather in West Texas in January for that long of a streak are slim to none.  Someone is looking out for us. If the weather isn't proof enough, the fact that no one has been killed or caught speaks volumes.  

The one lesson learned was that seventy miles into the park, and as you are embarking on a Gringo Honeymoon to Boquillas, is a bad time to realize you left your passport in Marathon. I debated winging it and trying to pay a coyote to get me back across up river, but given the political climate on the border thought better of it.  God willing, there's always next year. Until then, I'll just have to hear Robert Earl Keen sing about it.  

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